Memories of Mexico, SMC, and Writing a First Novel

by Maria Espinosa

black and white photo of Maria EspinosaA group of us walked along a narrow path to a deserted beach near Zihuatanejo, Mexico, which in 1971 was still a village of only several thousand inhabitants. The moon was brilliant and the ocean glistened with reflected light. Inspired by the moonlight, the waves and the soft sand under my bare feet, I began to dance. As I moved, I was working through problems that felt tangled. These were thoughts for which I could find no words, but which my body moved through as I danced.

Many years after that night on the beach, I began to practice Tibetan Buddhist shamatha meditation and I experienced an enormous breakthrough. For years I had been struggling to complete my novel, Longing. I had written four drafts, but they were brittle. I could not get beneath the surface. After a few weeks—or perhaps months—of focused shamatha practice, I was able to get beneath that frozen surface. Heart and insight began to expand and soften. I threw out the first four drafts and the fifth became meaty, fluid, and real. It would take four more rewrites to get Longing into its final form, but the fact that meditation practice gave such power hooked me.

Last summer as I meditated inside the Great Stupa of Dharmakaya at Shambhala Mountain Center, I had a similar kind of illumination. I had been attending a weekthun, a week-long meditation intensive, sleeping at night in a cabin where I snuggled under layers of blankets, absorbing the beauty of the land, the wilderness, the mountains. All this had prepared me for the Stupa, which emanates a feeling of tremendous brilliance and purity.

As I meditated there, my mind—often cluttered, anxious, and diffuse in daily life—seemed to transform in an alchemical way. Ideas became objects I could shift and maneuver inside the luminous space of my mind. Thoughts were clear and visualizations were lucid. Words, visual art, music, life changing decisions, all could flow more easily in this state.

For me, there is a connection between that moonlit night on the beach, meditation practice, and the illuminating experience within the Stupa. While the dance and the Stupa experience were brief, they fostered creativity that came from a deeper source in which body, mind, and spirit are connected. Regular meditation practice is far more gradual in its effects, like burning a log after the fire has been lit. That dance on the beach in Mexico and meditating in the Stupa were the matches, while my regular meditation practice sustains my writing like the burning log sustains the fire.

Learn more about Maria Espinosa’s up-coming writing workshop: Finding Your Voice: A Mindful Writing Retreat.

7 thoughts on “Memories of Mexico, SMC, and Writing a First Novel

  1. Maria Espinosa has expressed the inner beauty of a soul flavored by it’s rasa – an ancient word from Sanskrit meaning flavor, taste, and shared aesthetic experience. Please print more of her and other writings reflecting “Indelible Presence”.

    • I like the phrase,”indelible presence.” The entire world surrounding a person has a profound effect.
      As for deep listening, this is why writing can be so difficult in the midst of a pressured life.

  2. I am interested in your writing retreat at the Shambala Center near Ft. Collins. I’m not sure that I can attend it due to some other things in my life at this time. Are you offering other retreats or such opportunities? I believe that I need to know more about how to express myself through writing as when I’m able to do so it’s so very healing for me.

    Deep listening is another piece where I’d like to have more experience and training.

  3. Thanks for keeping me updated with your blog. And also for contributing your energy in helping write my memoir. By August it will be on Amazon as an ebook and paperback. Meanwhile I am learning “social entrepreneurship” to promote it and other things.

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