Floral Notes and Bardo: The Creative Chronicles of a Shambhala Mountain Resident is a regular feature on the SMC blog in which a member of our staff/community shares his experience of existing as part of Shambhala Mountain Center.
I had to remove those droopy flowers from the shrine. I don’t know who put them there. Afterwards, while urinating, I noticed a couple of small rainbows projected onto the wall in front of me. Thinking “there really are rainbows everywhere,” I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the wall beside me glowing purple — the sun and my sweater mixing, radiating.
Trungpa was in a dream last night, I don’t remember the details. But, I woke up thinking of Heather, and my mother, and the words — “You’re my peeps. My closest peeps” — was looping.
I’m feeling a bit more settled today, somehow. The spiritual growth-spurt concept is simply transforming into more luminous regular old reality. There will never be regular old reality. And, I feel some caution about speaking openly about this sort of stuff, a bit concerned that I might freak people out. And wondering about Right Speech.
There’s a sense that being genuine isn’t about spurting out thoughts, unfiltered, but rather, being in tune with my experience and the environment, and offering what may be helpful, delightful, and so on.
As I was writing above, and getting into the trip, my body was frazzled. It was total brain splatter. I noticed, and then spent a moment feeling my way into the body, into the room, and felt more calm. Feeling more calm now. Okay. Is this less exciting? Am I writing to excite?
Maybe I wrote this yesterday: That the good motivation is to benefit others, the world, rather than to get high, to have heightened experience. This is one of the main things I came out of retreat with, and so I immediately made lojong cards and have been working with the slogans again. Meanwhile, the Shambhala magic is being revealed. Meanwhile, the good ol’ Mahayana is fusing into my marrow. I am dedicated to creating strong habits of consideration for others, putting others before myself. I made this commitment almost a year ago now. The greatest commitment of my life — the Bodhisattva Vow. Anyway…
This idea of right motivation — benefitting the world, rather than getting high — seems to pervade everything that I may do: meditation, art, love-making, beer drinking… beer drinking?!
I was once in an interview with an Acharya, and he made a joke, imitating someone receiving oral sex and raising a fist dedicating the experience to all sentient beings. His point was that we still like to get high. And, vowing not to get high may be a bit much. Maybe it’s fair to make the aspiration to keep that in check. To be aware of when I’m getting high and being committed to not letting that get out of hand, to not allowing my pleasure seeking to actually create suffering for others — choosing pleasure over love.
So, that’s not the point. Of course, I’m part of the world I have vowed to benefit… so a cookie here or there is good!
Okay. What’s going on at SMC? The aspens have grown fuzzy little caterpillar seed pods and when the wind blows — the wind blows! — the millions of little fuzz-puffs scatter into the air and fly across the land, across the picnic area — where more and more people are enjoying their meals. A couple of new volunteer and staff have arrived — the first splashes of what will be a wave of newcomers in the next few weeks as the BIG summertime rolls around. One new staff member is named Patrick. He was here this past summer and, arriving yesterday, said nice things about this blog. Thanked me for writing it. I told him that now that he is here, he will probably show up in the blog. Here he is now: Patrick!
— April 6, 2015
Travis Newbill is a curious creature on the path of artistry and meditation, who is very glad to be residing at Shambhala Mountain Center. His roles within the lil’ society include Marketing Associate and Shambhala Guide — a preliminary teaching position. Follow Travis on twitter: @travisnewbill